Most of us fall in love with a mix of reality and projection.
Who they are.
Plus who we imagine they will become once life settles down and our influence lands just right.
The old pattern is trying to edit the other person into your favorite version of them.
If they were just more open.
More driven.
More like they were at the beginning.
You keep relating to the potential instead of the person.
Radical acceptance does not mean tolerating harm or giving up your needs.
It means telling the truth about who is actually in front of you.
Their history.
Their nervous system.
Their timing.
You stop arguing with their basic wiring.
You stop expecting your love to magically re write their childhood or their patterns overnight.
You start asking a different question.
Given who we both are today, what is possible between us that is honest.
Sometimes that deepens the bond.
Sometimes it reveals limits you have been refusing to see.
Either way, the relationship becomes more real and your body does not have to fight the same battle every day.
Love, here, is the willingness to hold someone’s humanity in full, including the parts that will never match the script in your head.