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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Listening To What You Feel

Emotions can feel like they crash in out of nowhere.
One text. One look.
Suddenly you are flooded.

The old pattern is to treat feelings as problems or proof that something is wrong with you.
“I am too sensitive.”
“I should not feel this way.”
“Just get over it.”

Emotional intelligence starts somewhere else.
It treats feelings like messages, not verdicts.
Information from your body and brain about how things are landing.

Your mind is always making guesses about what is happening.
It fills in gaps.
It tells stories about why your heart is racing or your stomach is tight.
Sometimes the story is helpful.
Sometimes it is wildly off.

When you build emotional intelligence, you learn to slow that process down.
You notice:
What is happening in my body?
What story am I telling about it?
Is there another way to see this?

You are not trying to control every emotion.
You are learning to relate to them with curiosity instead of panic or shame.

Love, in this frame, is turning toward your feelings instead of attacking or ignoring them.
“I hear you. Let’s find out what you are trying to say.”

PRACTICE

Next time a strong feeling hits, do a tiny three-part check-in. 1) Name the body signal: “My chest feels tight,” or “My shoulders are up by my ears.” 2) Name the story: “My brain is saying they must be mad at me,” or “I am thinking I ruined everything.” 3) Ask: “What is one kinder story that could also be true?” You do not have to fully believe the kinder story yet. Just giving it a seat at the table is emotional intelligence.

Related sparks

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VULNERABILITY

The Courage To Be Seen Inside

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LOVE AND PRESENCE (What is Love?)

Attention As A Love Language