Listen for the way you talk to yourself after a mistake.
“I am such an idiot.”
“Of course I messed that up.”
“I never get it right.”
Most of us would never speak to a friend that way.
Yet we let that voice run wild inside our own head.
Self-compassion is not about making excuses.
It is about shifting from inner attack to inner support.
Treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer someone you care about.
Tara Brach talks about this as remembering your basic worth, even while you tell the truth about your patterns.
You can acknowledge harm without calling yourself trash.
You can feel regret without turning it into lifelong shame.
From a nervous system point of view, harsh self-talk keeps your body in a constant state of alarm.
Softening that voice is not self-indulgent.
It is how you create the safety you need to actually change.
Self-compassion sounds like:
“Yes, I snapped. That was not how I want to show up. And I am still a human being who can repair and learn.”
It is love turned inward, not in a flashy way, but in steady, practical loyalty to yourself.