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CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Fighting For The Connection, Not The Win

Conflict is not a sign that a relationship is broken.
It is a sign that two real people with different histories and nervous systems
are trying to share a life.

The old pattern is to go to war.
You collect evidence.
You raise your voice.
You aim to be right, even if you both end up hurt and exhausted.

In many arguments, each person is defending a story their brain wrote
about what the other meant.
Often, both stories are incomplete.

Healthy conflict resolution starts with a different goal.
Not winning.
Understanding.

You slow down enough to hear what their reaction is really about.
You name what is happening inside you without turning it into an attack.
You look for the problem sitting between you
rather than making each other the problem.

Love, here, is remembering that you are on the same side,
even when your voices get tight.

PRACTICE

Think of one recurring disagreement. The next time it comes up, try changing the script. Before you defend yourself, say one sentence that shows you are trying to understand, such as I think you are feeling ignored right now, is that close. Then share your own inner state in a simple way, like I feel tense and overwhelmed, and I do not want us to talk to each other like enemies. From there, ask What would a good enough solution for both of us look like today. Let the conversation stay focused on that shared solution, not on who is the villain.

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RESPECT

Remembering They Are A Whole World

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LOVE AND FORGIVENESS (What is Love?)

Putting Down The Old Story